***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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