OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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