i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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