hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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