he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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