I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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