glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think I won the penis lottery.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize