Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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