Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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