the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
