New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
