I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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