so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
