5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
