Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
