did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
