my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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