hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize