It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
