There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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