??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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