I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
