come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
