i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
