Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
