It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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