awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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