yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
