My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Randomize
