That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
