I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
