Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
