I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We need to rekindle our bromance
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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