my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Mom said you looked used
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
