Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
