just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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