Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
home. puking in laundry basket.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
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I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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