I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
