I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
