Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
