He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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