McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
