I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Boobs are out for the taking
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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