So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
