I forgot how hot balto sounded
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
