I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
