so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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