I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
