you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
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We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
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You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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