im drinking this country out of the recession.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
