So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he thought i was a dude.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
