rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
