Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
