If that was your dad, he is hot
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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