I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
