Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
