I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
