How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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