Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
