His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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