your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
