pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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