found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
